The inspiring women of Team Athena!
I’m going to run a 5k this week, and there’s a very good chance I’ll be dead last. Possibly by a lot!
Every race I’ve ever run, I’ve entered it with the intent to truly race. I’ve never entered a race purely “for fun” or without a “real” goal.
But my friends on Team Athena are racing, and I want to be out there with them, and I miss the running world, and I want to experiment with my relationship to running and racing.
I want to loosen my grip on my identity as a runner and the attachment I have to being a “good” runner.
I want to let racing feel casual, silly, inconsequential.
I’m not trying to swear off more “serious” racing goals forever, but I’m wondering if being more carefree right now will bring a lightness and ease to those future “more serious” goals.
I want to keep running in spite of the fear that no one will take me seriously as a running coach if I’m “this slow.” I want to push myself to feel confident and happy out there without having to validate my results by saying things like, “I just had a baby and I took a year off running,” or tell people, “I ran in college so I’m still a real runner.” Because really, who cares?
What if I never run faster than this? Won’t I still love running? Won’t it still fill me up with pride, joy, pain, excitement, clarity, and love? Won’t it still be fun?